The 2011 Wellcome Trust science writing prize

A few months ago I entered the 2011 Science Writing Competition, put on by the Wellcome Trust in association with the Guardian and the Observer. I was lucky enough to be shortlisted, which meant that yesterday I got to go to a science writing workshop at the Guardian as well as an awards ceremony hosted by the brilliant Dara O’Briain.

The ceremony consisted of drinks and canapés in the Wellcome Trust Collections, surrounded by sciencey art installations – a gorgeous blown-glass sculpture of an H1N1 virus, a hanging skeleton with the skull and pelvis switched, and the like. The Wellcome Collections are what my house will look like when I am rich.

Somewhere in the middle there were a couple of great speeches, including an impassioned pro-science polemic by Dara O’Briain, after which he announced the winners: for my category (non-professionals), Tess Shallard; and in the professional category, Penny Sarchet. Their pieces will be published in The Guardian and/or The Observer within the next couple of weeks, and I’m looking forward to reading them – I think my own entry, and the other shortlisted entries, will be published online in due course.

The event also provided an opportunity to meet several of my idols (e.g. Dara, Ed Yong and Ben Goldacre) and be rather too effusive (it was an open bar). Most of these conversations went like this:

Me (earnestly): Dude, you’re fucking awesome.

Ed Yong (equally earnestly): Hey, where did you get that beer?

In truth, everyone was utterly charming, and I’m very grateful to The Guardian and the Wellcome Trust for being excellent hosts and for putting on the competition in the first place. Congrats to Tess and Penny!

Wedgemount glacier

Wish I was here, or anywhere with mountains.

Fearsome creatures

I checked my BBC “latest headline” feed this morning, and found the following at the top: “Scientists unveil ‘most fearsome predator ever.'”

I take issue with this article, starting with the headline. The predator in question is an enormous aquatic reptile from the Jurassic called a pliosaur, and it is not the Most Fearsome Predator Ever. It’s extinct, for one thing, and how fearsome is that? No excuses about the K-T impact, either. Sharks survived it, and that, among other reasons, is why we know to whom the MFPE title really belongs:

(Incidentally, this holds true even if we include extinct animals).

That’s not the real problem with the article, though. My actual complaint is that it exemplifies the media’s childish tendency when writing about animals to emphasize how big, scary or dangerous they are. Discovery Channel’s ‘Shark Week’ is a good example of this: nearly every program is a variation on the “world’s deadliest shark attacks” theme. Meanwhile, sharks pose little, if any, danger to humans. It’s actually the reverse: dozens of shark species are endangered thanks to overfishing and other human activities, and Shark Week isn’t doing their reputation any favours.  Not only that, but there are quite a lot of interesting things about sharks that have nothing to do with how big their teeth are.  Why can’t Shark Week include a few programs on shark evolution, diversity or ecology? Give us some credit. The Discovery Channel doesn’t have to be NASCAR.

Similarly, I find it impossible to believe that the most interesting thing about this pliosaur fossil is how big and fearsome it is, which is virtually all the article discusses. That’s not science, it’s trivial record-keeping. Leave it for Guinness. And by taking this approach, the article gives up the opportunity to address truly interesting questions about pliosaurs. For example, what did they eat?  Why did they evolve to become so big, when most large animals are either herbivores (e.g. brontosaurus, elephants) or filter feeders (blue whales, whale sharks), rather than predators? Surely it wouldn’t have been too difficult to shoehorn some interesting science in there.*

*Something David Attenborough is brilliant at, as in the clip above.

(In other news: scientists unveil world’s most fearsome wombat).

Chained to the lab

…so I’m putting non-academic writing and all other activities on hold for a couple weeks. My insects are churning out eggs like the dickens and it’s close to impossible to keep up with, even living in the lab all day, every day.

Listening while I work to an audiobook of David Attenborough’s “Life on Air,” read by the author, which is keeping life (barely) tolerable.

Fungi making a strong Breakout Performance bid for the 2011 Gratuitously Evil Pathogen Awards.

Lately, because of mold problems in the lab, I’ve been having nightmarish visions of fungae growing in my sinuses and eating my brain. I thought I made this disease up, but it turns out it actually exists. It’s called mucormycosis and, in brief, it’s characterised by fungi infecting human flesh in much the same way as mold grows on old fruit. The hyphae invade the sinuses or other vulnerable tissues, choking blood vessels and leaving once-healthy flesh black and withered.

As has so often been the case (e.g. the Great Appendix Incident of 2003), what initially looked like hypochondria on my part was actually more like eerie prescience. In the US there has been a rash of mucormycosis cases in the wake of deadly tornadoes, with the tornadoes presumably dispersing deadly fungal spores.

That’s right: tornados and deadly funguses have finally joined forces, forming a kind of huge, windy, infectious super-organism, along the lines of Sharktopus only way more terrifying. I call it Fungnado. God help us all.

ps. whatever you do, don’t google image mucormycosis.

Something Fishy Afoot

If you walk through the Clarendon Centre, a mall in central Oxford, you’ll notice something odd. Near the entrance people are sitting on padded benches, their lower legs immersed in tanks full of bubbling water and dozens of tiny fish.

“Bubble Feet,” a sign explains, helpfully listing the rates, which start at ten pounds for 10 minutes.  30 minutes is only twenty pounds; the “Champagne Paradise” option.